Passing the Blame

One questions we can ask ourselves is, "How often do we really stop to think about how our actions are affecting others?" However, perhaps an even more insightful question might be, "How often do we listen to what others say about how they feel we are treating them?" In other words, do we really listen and give our loved ones our attention and their words our consideration so that we might be able to implement change, should it be warranted, within ourselves? Or, are we more likely to blame loved ones as being too sensitive, just not understanding where we're coming from, or causing issues themselves? Before we pass the blame to others, it might be beneficial to each of us to look at our own behaviors and to consider if what we are hearing from our spouses, children, or others we care about might be something helpful rather than merely a criticism or a judgement. Change begins with each of us. Be the change you wish to see. Blessings, Michelle

What to Do When Marriage Hurts

Marriage is not supposed to be something that brings you pain. Ideally, it is God's way of assuring us that we are not alone, and that "knowing" someone unconditionally will be there for us forever is possible. It serves as a solid foundation to bring children into the world, and a take-off point from which we can go forth to work on life's goals. Marriage can be so many great things, but when it is causing more pain than blessing, it maybe time to reach out to get support and help. How to know if your marriage could use some skilled help? Are you looking forward to the future with your spouse or secretly dreading it? Is it easier for you to list your spouses faults or to speak of their good qualities? Are you hoping things can work out, or are you hoping things can end based on a technicality? It is not easy to know when to seek help, but if you are noticing that things are tending more towards the negative and less toward the positive, I encourage you to reach out. While we would love to provide your marriage with the coaching and tools to make it better, and we hope you will contact us if you need us, we just want you to get what you need to save and build your marriage. Check out other resources, too: check out marriage blogs such as this one, read marriage books, talk to a pastor or trusted friend, or take a time out together to discuss your concerns with your mate. The important thing is that you get the support you need to heal from the pain and the skills to improve your marriage rather than settle for less than God's plan for marriage to be a blessing to you. All the best, Michelle